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Thursday, February 27, 2014

Who cares if that's what I'm supposed to do?

As a mom, I feel a LOT of pressure to do certain things.

There are the basics like reading online articles about baby led weaning and taking the kids to the pediatrician and getting all the right shots. Or should I delay some? Dicey subject, let's push on.

Then it's the activities. For the kids, not me. I'll admit, play groups are wonderful when the kiddies are little and I need to vent to another grown up.  Like, say birth to 9 months. But once the children are biting and hitting each other, any pleasure is negated.

If we don't take a children's music class, join a soccer team, take swimming lessons, enroll in gymnastics or karate....well, I would be failing as a mother, right?

Nope! Not buying into that. I did for years. But as of today, I'm quitting that idea.

My boy just isn't in the right place to do these activities. He doesn't want to participate in the "correct" way so he gets scolded by the instructor. And I get stressed! Stressed leading up to the event, during, after. Plus, I'm paying for this torture and neither of us are having any fun!

So, I quit.  I'll take the blame if this somehow wildly backfires and my outgoing child shrivels and develops the personality of a toadstool.

Maybe next month or year or never will be a better time to be joiners. For now though, we're going to hang out on the fringe for a while.

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Monday, February 24, 2014

Bub's first day at his new school

Our brave little guy started at his new preschool this afternoon. He was very excited when we met the bus and Chris and I held hands as we followed it to school. Just for the first time!

My heart is in my throat that my baby is taking the bus!

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Saturday, February 22, 2014

No matter what, Bub, I will always love you!

We are waged deep in battle, little man.  You are trying to let me know how you are feeling by acting out or arguing with me.  I'm trying to understand and remember that you are just a boy.  I'm very tired, from life and from being a Mommy. 
Sometimes, I get very frustrated and I yell at you or scold you.  You think this means that I don't love you.  You are so, so wrong, my little love.  I love you so very much that it kills me to hear to question my devotion to you.

I saw this video, about the kindness that strangers can show for a child, and it made me cry.  Bub, you are that cold little boy.  I see that you are shivering and don't know how to ask for help.  I'll just try harder to keep you warm in my love and we'll figure this out together.  Because you are my own heart that I wear outside of my body.  And I never want to see you suffer.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Bub Quotes

Yesterday we visited the local toy store with the kids. They had some money that was burning holes in their pockets and I had that crazy hope that a new toy would buy me a few minutes of peace.

The selections were made (a dinosaur for Bub, a race car for Cubby, AND a very expensive Playmobil set for my husband) and I was paying while Bub excitedly perused potential future purchases.
He found a shelf of tiny erasers in whimsical shapes.


Yes,  Bub,  thank you.


That's the new thing. Bub finds crumbs or small objects or smallish objects that aren't really choking hazards and loudly announces their existence. It's sort of helpful and very cute. He's a wicked good big brother.

And, yes, Chris did share his toy with the boys even though it was largely comprised of choking hazards and made rather un-fun with their removal.

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Saturday, February 15, 2014

Oh yeah, did I mention that we're walking?

Cubby took his first official steps! He's a toddler and I'm proud and heartbroken that he's growing up so quickly.
I say every day, just stay this age forever, Little Man! It's that sweet age when the babble is joyous and he is always smiling. He can entertain  himself but keeps crawling over for snuggles. And he is so full of light and pure love, he makes everything seem like it was meant to be,  just so we could have him in our lives.

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Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine's Day is one for naked cherubs!

Little pudgy baby bottoms, fat, chubby legs and arms, and gummy grins light up my heart today.  I worked like crazy to capture some images of Cubby as a cherub on his first Valentine's Day as he tried to escape.  Enjoy!

Here's one of Bub for comparison!

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Thursday, February 13, 2014

Baby's first word?

Chris and I heard Cubby yell "LIAM" tonight.  His brother had run out of the room and he wanted him back!

Bub was so tickled. He kept asking, "Was that his first word?"  It was a great brother moment. I can't wait until he says it again and I can see the pride in Bub's eyes that his baby can talk to him.

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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Dinosaurs who are pirates

These crafty t-rex are on a treasure hunt. What's the treasure? The rainbow t-rex!

*too bad for you if you don't find this brilliant and adorable... because it is both. Arrrrgh! *

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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Homer had the right idea.

Not the Greek guy, the yellow one, who choked his son.

Me: Bub,  help me find black shoes with the number 10 on them.

After looking around and offering me sparkling purple boots,  size 8 ¹/², what I used to wear before two pregnancies.

Bub(loudly): Mama,  I don't think they even MAKE shoes that big! Why are your feet so big? How come everything ABOUT you is so big? I don't think we're going to find any shoes here!

*laughing on the outside, crying on the inside*

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Cubby is 10 months! (er, tomorrow)

Who knows what tomorrow may bring so here's some 10 month old cuteness to sweeten your afternoon.

Monday, February 3, 2014

I want to remember

I want to remember tonight, how the two boys were playing and laughing together. I was laying in a puddle of decimated Mommy meat and they were still full of fun and mischief.
I wasn't even involved except to parrot, "Cubby, don't bite your brother. Bub, stop jumping. Ouch!" It seemed like the first time they were playing with just each other, without me being their bridge.
It was a happy few moments.  I want to hold onto that bright laughter and their beaming faces.  I even got a slobbery toddler kiss to make me feel included in their play.

When the days are long and I'm ready to scream about the laundry and the damn filthy car and the pointy toy I just stepped on, I want to remember this sweet exchange between two boys who are growing into great friends.  I think I can feel good about that even through the chaos, because I made those little souls and I did that perfectly.

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Saturday, February 1, 2014

Sleeping over at Grandma Cookie's

I can see that Bub has polished off a sundae within an hour of his visit beginning. He's clearly having a blast!

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