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Friday, January 31, 2014

To all the moms I've judged before

I'm sorry!

If you were covered in pet hair
or boogers, and I was shocked that you could leave the house looking like that,
I'm sorry.

If you confessed that you hadn't
brushed your hair/teeth/put on deodorant/underwear
and I visibly recoiled,
I'm sorry.

If you spent a small fortune on
a diaper bag/baby carrier/stroller
and I was disgusted by your vanity or selfishness,
I'm sorry!

I'm sorry I thought you were an idiot to make your own baby food and cloth diaper. 

I'm sorry that I thought your child was dirty or wild or possibly ferral.

I'm sorry that I thought my birth announcement was cooler and that I have a funnier Mommy blog than you.

I'm so super sorry for judging you all because now I get it.  It took having baby # 2 (another BOY!) for me to realize that we moms are just doing our best to get by and we don't need one more thing to worry about, like a snotty mom thinking your choices suck. Because they don't.

What I worried about and thought was important when I was pregnant or had one child...? That was a luxury that I can no longer afford. I'm too crazy these days wondering if I've over-Motrined the teething baby and put a pull up on the preschooler.  Two kids has rid me of my pride. I still think about "What Not To Wear"  Shanghai-ing me at Stop and Shop for pairing Capri yoga pants with snow boots, but it's more a funny thought than a fearsome one.   And I now truly believe that wearing lipstick makes up for not wearing a bra.

I may still be surprised by your choices, but more often, I'm impressed that you function well enough to clean your house AND shower in the same day!  And if you want to Instagram all that stuff, by all means.

And if you think I'm judging you for only having one child, nope. You might be onto something there,  sister!

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Thursday, January 30, 2014

Guess who sucks at helping?

Babies. Babies are not good at helping! Here's Cubby enjoying the fruit of my near stroke over inflating a ball pit while fending off a grabby baby boy.

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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Kitty has another passionate admirerer.

Our poor cat. She has inspired dangerous love in both of our rough and tumble boys.

Here's Cubby, every so tenderly, crushing her with a full body hug and pinching a fist of fur. Note the look of love in his eyes.

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Monday, January 27, 2014

Little Mama

Bub is becoming rightly frustrated with Cubby, always trying to have what his older brother has.  Bub will scold Cubby,  "No! Don't! Please stop!"
Tonight, Chris said "Isn't it frustrating to try to tell Cubby something and he doesn't listen?"

Crickets. We'll get there eventually. In the meantime, there's a lot of threatening Cubby with baby jail (the crib) , which is pretty funny, and the cat has two tormentors to run from.

It's a mad world.

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Sunday, January 26, 2014

If we didn't try and fail, we'd never know how good we really have it.

We went on vacation this weekend to a Cape resort that promised a wave pool and a spa. Twice, we cancelled our trip due to illness. But it was happening  this weekend, hell or high water. Er, hell was what we got.

The kids were great on the ride, acceptably behaved at lunch and very happy and excited for an hour in the wave pool. We left when the water was clogged by the flotsam of crazed children.

After a bit,  we visited the gift shop and Bub started to feel sick.  Within an hour, he tossed his cookies and that was our night. No massage for Chris and Cubby and I hid in our room,  me fretting about the horrors that might be happening next door.

Morning saw a healthier Bub who definitely earned a toy from the gift shop we'd fled earlier.

Home again and none of us feel great but I am grateful. Chris and I always manage to pull together in these crisis.  And I don't envy my more jet-set friends.  We're not graceful travelers. Home seems extra cozy tonight.

We'll keep trying these little trips because if we didn't, I'd resent that we never went anywhere. And I'll keep in mind that the few good memories of a disasterous trip are often better than a same old same old weekend at home.

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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Dear Baby,

I wear your plump self around the store, sweating and grunting, to shop under the weight of a (cute) sack of potatoes, so you can feel loved and safe. Then you fall asleep in the plastic and cold embrace of your car seat in the 11 minutes we have before we need to pick up your brother from school.

You're in big trouble.

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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Trying to Cry It Out

I'm hiding in a dark bedroom, trying to avoid eye contact with my littlest boy.  After nine months sleeping curled around him, nursing on demand, we are trying to let him self soothe.  That's the euphemism his pediatrician used for letting him cry himself back to sleep.

Chris took a string of nights and now it's my turn. And I am bad at it! In 3 hours I've nursed him to sleep twice. I'm playing tough while I have some energy left and he is quiet after crying for 10 minutes.

Why can't he appreciate all of those nights he had it so good!? I just want a little tat for all the tit. A little rest for the weary?

Like I said, I'm bad at this. As easily as Bub talks his way into getting cookies, this one will be sharing my pillow before too many hours.

That crying face is so desperately sad and I already wish that he weren't growing up so fast.

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My experience with Cry It Out (CIO for those in the know)

You say Cry It Out and with three words you are dividing people into extreme camps.
Either you're a wuss if you don't, or an unspeakable monster. Either you're teaching poor sleep habits or you're giving your baby the finger.

After 9 months of snuggly, hippy dippy cosleeping, I'm giving my baby the finger. We'll, I'm choosing to call it by the euphemism provided by the pediatrician.  I'm teaching him "self soothing" . There, doesn't that bring me back a bit closer to loving parent instead of exhausted automaton? Wait, same coin.

Anyway, the husband and I are taking turns being night warden. He's a lot tougher than I am. I have the milk, though! It's not really fair to smell like the reward and be the one to deny it!

We're into our second week of this. My nights, I'm caving a lot. I let him cry for 10/20 minutes and then I'll shush him standing beside the crib. Or I'll pick him up if he's truly hysterical. It works half the time. The other times, he's back in bed with me, belly up to the open bar.
We're working on it.
He's a tough nut and a cute one.  Could you let this baby CIO?

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Thursday, January 16, 2014

Bub is going to have his own show on HGTV

Santa brought Bub a cool dinosaur mirror. I decided that burning myself out on home decor projects sounded more tempting than bath time tonight. I hung the mirror and switched out a lamp, added a tissue box and Bub was thrilled!
He had to show Chris his new room.  He found a necklace and put it around the neck of his T-Rex bank and perched a small puzzle box atop a mason jar snow globe. He's an artist! I'm so proud of that little man and love this side of him. 

I love all of him, even the mad side that said "DAMMIT I'M SO MAD" at our play date this afternoon.  I would just rather hang out with that guy LESS.

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Wednesday, January 15, 2014

There aren't enough hours in the day

If you ever look back at pictures from your childhood and wonder, why was our house such a mess? Why was Mama so often in yoga pants? Why don't I have an updated baby book? How come Mama spends so much time carrying around baskets of laundry?

Well, when one child informs you at bedtime that he pissed the sheets last night and the other is opportunistic enough to start eating trash while I'm changing the bedding and your father is two hours late with dinner and I just spilled pumped breast milk on my pillow and then ate a whole bag of chocolate eggs to smother my feelings of futility... I didn't have much time left for anything other than keeping us all alive in wrinkled but clean clothes.

Plus I was busy writing this frickin blog! And posing for hilarious Instagram shots.

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Monday, January 13, 2014


Cubby had his 9 month visit today and here are the stats:
23 lbs
30. 5 inches tall (100th percentile)
Before I had kids,  I was baffled by the stupid way Moms threw around that jargon. "What percentile is he? Mine's 94th for weight and 100th for height!"
Yeah,  it barely passes for conversation but when you're not sleeping, your shirt is a tissue and your day hinges on the mood of a preschooler, that shit is really, really critical. It's like farmers trying to win World's largest pumpkin at the state fair. Bragging rights.
Guess what? I grew the World's largest pumpkin and he also loves to eat cheese!

And here are some cuties of him wearing the onesie we got him a YEAR ago when he was inside my belly.

A slog around the park and some lunch.

We three Musketeers had a museum date outside at The DeCordova yesterday. It was fun to walk around in the mud and then Bub did an art project.

The gift shop was the undoing of the trip with a cash register meltdown. Meh, that's how it goes around here. It was the price I was willing to pay for an adult themed day out.

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Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Baby Goo Goo

Cubby is actually saying "Goo Goo!" It's desperately cute.

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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Growing so fast

Cubby is everywhere these days! He's wriggling, squirming, lunging, crawling,cruising, stepping and slobbering all over the house.

Captured in a rare still moment, you can see those two beautiful chompers he grew.

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Sunday, January 5, 2014

Nine months on the outside

Cubby is 9 months old today!
He just this morning figured out his walking toy.  He's going to be running by 10 months!

And I wondered when Bub would start to find Cubby annoying because he was always messing up his stuff.


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